Dirty Little Secret
by Krabby Patty
Summary: Julie? Let's not watch porn again. Ever. But why's that? Read to find out. Humor. Oneshot, JuKi.


**Author's Note: **AU. An ickle JuKi one-shot for Jenna to make her think of naughty things. Whoops, did I just say that? I meant, boredom, plus the fact I owe her a fanfic, equals to some sort of crack!fic. I hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **This is a work of fiction involving characters from _The O.C._, owned by Josh Schwartz and FOX Television.The plot of the story below is the product of the author's imagination and therefore used in a fictional manner. The title of this story is taken from the song of the same name, by The All-American Rejects.

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**Dirty Little Secret**

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_Ding-dong._

Julie Cooper-Nichol, as she was known then, quickly put the hairbrush in her hand down on the dresser and immediately descended down the sweeping staircase of the palace she shared with Caleb, as the doorbell rang for the second time. As much as she was insensitive to others most of the time, if there was one thing about Julie, it was that she didn't like to keep guests waiting.

She swung open the heavy door, and her face immediately lit up at the sight of Kirsten Cohen standing in her doorstep. "KiKi! Hi!" Julie exclaimed rather over-enthusiastically as she opened the door further to invite her daughter-in-law inside. She was quick to note that Kirsten was still dressed formally, a black, long-sleeved bodysuit that clung to her curves and dipped low enough to tease men with the hint of skin she flashed. It was an indication that the blond just came from The Newport Group, working. At the weary response of, "Hey, Julie," Julie felt a flash of guilt for making Kirsten work so hard – after all, she _was_ CEO, but she quickly pushed the thought aside.

"I'm so glad you could make it!" She stepped sideways to allow Kirsten inside her gigantic home, shutting the door behind her. Julie had invited Kirsten over for what she liked to call a girls' night in, which meant popcorn, beer and DVDs, claiming that she had no company for the night, as Caleb was away and Marissa was being her usual mother-hater self. And although Julie was not Kirsten's favourite person in the world, she had reluctantly agreed.

Kirsten stood in awkward gracefulness in the middle of the foyer, drumming her long fingernails absentmindedly against the material of her handbag, not knowing what to say. But apparently, Julie thought there was nothing to say for the moment, as she briskly walked towards the living room, giving off the air that Kirsten follow suit, which she did.

The two sat down in front of the widescreen, Julie immediately settling down while Kirsten remained sitting upright. Julie noticed this, and sighed, realizing that she would have to bring Kirsten's guard down if she wanted to enjoy the night with who seemed to be her only friend in the entirety of Newport Beach. "Wait here. I'm going to get some provisions."

Julie hopped off the couch and sprinted towards yet another hallway, possibly where the kitchen was at. Surely enough, five minutes later, she came back balancing a tray with a huge bowl of popcorn, a box of chocolates, and a few bottles of beer, which she set on the table in front of where Kirsten sat. Kirsten looked at Julie with a quizzical look, which only made the latter sigh once more in exasperation.

"It's a girls' night in, what did you expect? Bear-printed pajamas and Candyland?" She asked, although she kept her tone light. Without waiting for an answer, Julie kicked off her shoes and settled herself comfortably on the couch again, taking up most of the space, and took one of the opened bottles of beer. She gestured towards the newly purchased DVDs laid out on the coffee table, including the Season 1 DVD boxset of _The Valley_, possibly the hottest TV show out there, which she knew Kirsten liked watching.

Sure enough, her blue eyes were immediately drawn to the eye-catching orange box, and Julie had to grin at the look of childish glee etched on Kirsten's face. "I suppose that's one thing we can watch where you won't fall asleep, huh?" She teased, and Kirsten laughed. Julie had her at her weakest spot. The blond got off the couch to pop the first disc into the player, and kicked her boots off before she settled with Julie on the couch to watch the series.

Three more episodes and a few bottles of beer further, Kirsten was completely relaxed and was actually having a good time, even if she was just sitting there with Julie in front of the widescreen. Julie was right when she invited Kirsten over – she needed this, a break from all the paperwork, even for just one night, and surprisingly, Julie felt glad that Kirsten was enjoying herself. Both women sighed contentedly as the credits of the last episode in the disc rolled on.

"Bathroom." Kirsten explained as she suddenly got up. Julie nodded and giggled as Kirsten walked away in her bare feet. She never thought that she'd see the day Kirsten Cohen walking barefoot and the thought kept her amused as she removed the DVD from the player and set it aside.

As Julie was left on her own for the time being, she looked through the remaining DVDs, wondering if she could get Kirsten to watch something else, possibly a movie or two. There was nothing that piqued her interest, and she leaned back on the couch, sighing disappointedly. Her frustration only lasted for a moment though, as a lightbulb went off in her head, and a mischievous smile appeared.

Kirsten came back from the bathroom, to find Julie sitting down on the couch cross-legged, with an obviously innocent look across her striking features. She sat down, eyeing the brunette next to her with suspicion – she may be a bit buzzed, but she wasn't drunk. But Julie only smiled nonchalantly and hit play on the remote.

"What are we watching?" Kirsten asked, finally giving in to her curiosity as the production company's logo flashed onto the screen. It was unfamiliar to her, and Kirsten happened to be very knowledgeable about these, seeing as they were usually the last things she saw before she 'rested her eyes'.

Julie shrugged and turned back to watch the TV, obviously not going to answer Kirsten. Kirsten knew better than to ask Julie further, and besides, she was bound to find out soon anyway. She settled herself in her seat, occasionally sipping from her third bottle of beer, when something she saw from the television made her jaw drop. Thankfully, her mouth was drained of beer by then.

"_Porn_?" Kirsten shrieked, her blue eyes widened in shock as she turned to her fellow Newpsie. "We're watching _porn_?" She nearly dropped the slippery bottle from her hands as she deliberately avoided looking at the screen, which wasn't an easy feat given its colossal size. In striking contrast to the blond, Julie looked unbothered.

"Don't tell me you haven't watched porn before, Kirsten?" She asked in disbelief, watching as Kirsten covered her eyes with one of the big throw pillows scattered around them. Julie smirked and pulled off the pillow from Kirsten, who gave out a small yelp as she did so. Julie's smirk widened as she saw Kirsten sneaking peeks at the TV screen, where a girl was performing a strip tease for her co-star, who had his back on the camera.

Kirsten's silence only prompted Julie to gasp. "You haven't!" She exclaimed degradingly, which of course made Kirsten retort back beseechingly with an, "Of _course_ I have!" That piercing green-eyed stare made her reluctantly share more information than she would've liked to admit. "I just haven't watched in a long time, that's all."

"So, Sandy's that good, huh?" Julie teased with another smirk, much to Kirsten's chagrin. Kirsten flushed, embarrassed to be the focus of a conversation such as this, and drank from her bottle again in an effort to distract herself. Julie laughed in an almost knowing matter.

"So, you're watching this with me or not?" Julie turned back to the TV screen, whistling softly as the man stood up to peel away his t-shirt. No doubt she found the sight pleasing to the eyes, and with good reason. Even Kirsten's gaze was fixed on the TV, though she forced herself to look away for a moment. "You're not seducing me into anything, are you?" She had to ask bluntly, remembering her conversation with Julie that one rainy night at The Newport Group, when Julie said she had a lesbian phase just like Marissa right now.

Julie laughed, tearing her gaze off the porn to look at Kirsten. She lowered her eyelids seductively and moved closer to Kirsten until the blond could feel Julie's breath on her ear. "Well, you do happen to look very beautiful tonight, and that suit of yours looks as if it's just begging to be _removed_." She whispered lowly in Kirsten's ear, before pulling away to look at the priceless expression on Kirsten's face.

She laughed, wrapping an arm across her friend's shoulders and rubbing her upper arm, more out of comfort than seductive intentions. Yup, definitely buzzed. "I was just teasing, KiKi!" Julie exclaimed in her normal tone, still giggling. It took a while for Kirsten to believe Julie, but finally, she looked convinced, and even managed a weak grin.

The two ladies turned to watch the TV screen again, with Julie's arm still around Kirsten, and Kirsten hogging another throw pillow. She had the fluffy material cover most of her face, but Julie could tell she was watching intently. They watched as the girl went down on her knees and began doing things with the expertise of a porn star, which made Kirsten utter a comical, "Oh, God," before reaching out for her beer, almost draining the bottle with one big gulp. Julie, on the other hand, was frozen to her seat with her mouth agape, even unable to tease Kirsten.

Pairs of sapphire and emerald eyes were glued to the movie as the camera panned skyward in a slow manner, revealing more of the man's flesh along the way. Julie whistled again appreciatively and Kirsten felt excitement course through her with every inch of skin revealed. All thoughts she had previously on why she was letting Julie get away with putting on porn slowly vanished as the camera went up, from down there to his muscular chest, a rather tempting neck that was prominent as he had his head tilted up in his obvious pleasure, and further upward, and…

…

"OH MY GOD!"

Both of them froze in their seats, too stunned to even move until Kirsten somewhat regained her senses and buried her head into the couch, shutting her eyes as if it will make the images in her head go away. Julie was still rooted to the spot, unable to take her eyes off the young man… no, _boy_! – on the screen, even though she knew she should.

They did not see who they think they just saw.

Kirsten's head surfaced from the couch to look briefly, as if it was going to be alright, and _he_ was most definitely not the man she had been getting excited about just a mere minute ago. Because that would be so wrong. They watched as Ryan pushed the girl into the bed as he hovered over her, and this seemed to set off warning bells in Julie's head, as she jumped up, grabbed the remote quickly and hit the stop button a thousand times before they were left with a blue screen.

The two women sat in shock-induced silence.

"Oh, my God, you knew." Kirsten accused in a flat tone, unable to look at Julie, who seemed as stunned as she was at that very moment.

"I didn't!" Was Julie's quick, defensive answer. "Those…" She pointed a shaking finger at the stack of porn DVDs Kirsten didn't remember seeing before she went into the bathroom. "… are new. I just ordered them by phone last weekend."

This reduced Kirsten to silence, as her mind tried to erase the images she had just seen. Oh, God, she had just seen _parts_ of her adoptive son… _private_ parts, for the matter. How was she going to look at him straight in the eye now? She tried to understand what she just saw, and immediately came to the conclusion that Ryan did this for the money. He looked so much younger in the video, it was probably long ago, long before he came to live with the Cohens.

"That was hot though." Julie piped up quietly, as if she was talking to herself than at Kirsten, but it was loud enough to cut through Kirsten's mental ramble. She shot Julie a deadly look, making Julie hold up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I'm getting rid of them." She shuddered as she gingerly took the disc from the player, and along with the rest of the DVDs, she threw them into a wastebasket, stomping on the garbage with her high heels until she could see broken pieces of the discs scattered.

"Julie?" Kirsten ventured timidly as Julie walked back into the room. Both of them had identical looks of guilt on their faces.

"Yeah?"

"Let's not watch porn again. Ever."

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**THE END**

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_Reviews welcome. And I was going for the humour when I put Ryan in that role. I don't want him to be a porn-star... ever, no matter how hot the thought is._**  
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